It’s A Glass Of Lunch

It’s a pretty color though, right?

A cheeseburger sounds really good.

I watched four hours of Chopped last night.  I’m not even half-way through this 8-day fast, and already fantasizing about what to eat first on Tuesday.

My body isn’t being subtle telling me there’s no food in there.  And while I don’t feel like I’m starving – I do feel funny.   My anxiety is a little higher today than normal, which I’m attributing to having not eaten since Sunday.

Eating is something to do.  It’s about more than just assuaging hunger – it’s a fun past-time – like shopping for new espadrilles on Amazon.  Eating has been a small multi-tasking ritual that accomplished important endeavors simultaneously – it eliminated hunger, gave me something to do, and it occupied short periods of time.

Something else worth noting – vegetable juice is BORING.  Yummy food is something I look forward to.  I associate eating tasty morsels of flavorful goodness with positive feelings. I’m not experiencing positive feelings downing a glass of vegetable lunch.  There’s no psychological reward.

The anticipation of eating, the visual I get looking at something I’m about to devour – something that my nose tells me will taste good, the sensation of chewing, and the sensation of becoming satiated – these are all missing and this part of not eating is almost a bigger deal than the physical sensation of getting by on four glasses of thick juice a day.

Preparing For An 8 Day + Fast

Now that I’ve been sober for a year, it’s time to try something new.  These days, when a random idea persists, I have to consider that it’s something I ought to be paying attention to.  So – a fast is on the horizon.  I’ve never tried one.  I’ve never even been on a diet.

It never occurred to me that fasting might bring me closer to God, but that’s what the websites I kept finding were suggesting.  I just thought fasting would be a good way to segue into a healthier diet and lifestyle.  But who knows.  This will be a new adventure.  I may very well go into some kind of hypnotic salt, fat, protein, carb, dairy, and sugar-free trance like state where spiritual experiences reign. Could be interesting.

And I do like the idea of being closer to God.

Okay – so the fast will follow this schedule: an eight-day juice only fast, followed by three days of ‘coming off’ (adding several small fruit and vegetable salads with cottage cheese dressing) followed by another ten days of a 75% raw food diet.  Not quite sure what all that will entail, but I’ll be a googling raw food fool by then.

That’s 21 days.

If anyone would like to share some yummy tips, they’ll be much appreciated!

I think what I’m most looking forward to is losing cravings for chocolate (as I visually undress a bag of M&Ms on the coffee table).  This is going to be a very healthy thing to do for my body and this is why I’m doing it.  My body survived years of alcohol abuse and now I want to give it a smooth ride with liquid goodness.

Currently, my diet consists of vegetable soups, salmon, the occasional piece of grass-fed beef, black beans, eggs/cheeses, chips and hot salsa, spinach salads with colorful veggies, coffee/cream/honey, fruit juices, Ensure (it’s true – back from my Betty Ford days), tea, frozen veggie burgers, and M&Ms.   I rarely eat carbs outside plain tortilla chips, though I did just buy some decent ($6.00/loaf) wheat bread when my family was here last weekend.

I guess I’ll just have to eat it.

After playing with numerous fasting terms on google, I finally found this: and this:, and this:

And thank goodness I already have one of these!  It’ll have to do unless I decide to buy a juicer. NNIt’ll be sad putting the toaster away, but it’s only going two feet up into the cabinet.  I’ll live.

In preparation, I’m going to finish all the food in the kitchen and start buying only organic fruits and vegetables.  That way, I won’t have anything to cheat on plus I’ll start getting used the introduction of new plain flavors.  Organic fruits and vegetables will be the only things going into the NN, and hence – my belly.

As a way to keep my brain and fingers busy outside what I normally do, I’ll be blogging more photos, clever recipe ideas, $ saved at the grocery store,  and I’ll probably do a bit of bitch and moan.  Actually – I’m interested to see what comes to mind to blog about.


This is the true and sad state of affairs going on in my cabinet and refrigerator.  Once it’s all gone and replaced with new raw foods, I’ll update with new photos. DSCF0451

21 days is a long time.  That’s what I said when I’d made it three weeks without a drink.  Today, I’ve gone 372 days without alcohol.

I think I can handle a 21 day fast/raw food diet.

For the record – I’m 5’5″ and weigh 120.

Time starts Monday, 22 May and ends 12 June.


The Evolution of Happiness

Addiction is the pursuit of death.  Painful death.  What are the odds of having one of those anyway – – without the help of an addiction?  No one wants that!  I bet 9 out of 10 people would choose to die in their sleep – just pass in the night gently.  Peacefully.  Sweetly.  Of course, there’s always the crazy foo’ who loves the idea of martyrdom or dying in an avalanche on the way down Everest.  But sane people don’t chase death.  Sane people pursue visions of successful, happy lives.

I consider myself sane today.  Yes, I know that crazy people don’t know they’re crazy, but I feel quite convinced that crazy town in but a speck in the rear-view mirror of my life.  I know that my pursuits are of sound mind – things like physical fitness, healthy friendships, a career in the field of recovery coaching, understanding the mind of God, and my last amazing boyfriend (Oh, woohoo! Hi there!  :)) – these are all sane things that normal people go after.



What I most enjoy about sanity and the pursuit of success and happiness is that it isn’t feeling like work and therefore, it doesn’t feel like I’m pursuing anything because nothing is elusive.  I have everything I need even though I haven’t reached all of my goals – yet.  Every day provides the relief that is not alcohol poisoning and this alone is a rush.  Each day, I continue heading in the direction I’ve chosen. It’s a journey.  Impatience happens, but outside of that – I look around me and concede that everything is alright.

Daily Prompt: Pursue