I’m Not Bitter About It, But…

I had this great idea about ten minutes ago to find a ‘Daily Inspirations’ site so that I could set up an account to have a new amazing inspiration emailed to me every morning.  Something deep and reflection worthy to help me kickstart the day.

I couldn’t find one.  Not one!

It’s not out there.  If it is – I must still be cascading out of early morning theta waves because I couldn’t find one worthy site.  I searched for daily meditations, inspirations, spiritual inspirations, Buddhist meditations – and everything looked so – – cheesy.  I’m just not in the mood for cheese right now.

cheese

I’m in research mode these days, devouring information.  I took the Myers-Briggs 16 Personalities test this weekend and discovered that  I’m an INTJ.  We make up only 3% of the population.  Sweet!  I also discovered a really cool Mayan Astrology site.  Who knew the Mayans were into astrology?  According to it, I’m a White Spectral Dog, doubled.

Yeowza!

So – in the spirit of attempting to consciously contribute something meaningful and practical to the planet on a daily basis – because discovering what I’m interpreting as valuable information from websites about myself has put me in a peppy mood – I will begin leaving daily quotes or affirmations here – starting with this one by me:

I don’t know what it looks like – yet – but today, I’m going to do one nice thing – for another person.

(I feel I ought to cough up a truth here.  Before I wrote “another person” above, I wrote the word ‘myself’.)

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Bitter

Replacing NONE With IT

When an alcoholic decides to start traveling the sober path, it isn’t as easy as just putting one foot in front of the other.  It’s not the same thing as just – not eating chocolate anymore. If only.  Our journey is one of nearly constant activity – especially in the beginning – coming at us from the bushes.  As we venture forth on the path, we are bombarded by countless thoughts, sensations, and emotions.  Sometimes it can be hard to remain upright.

I’ve fallen down hundreds of times and just stayed there; crawling in an attempt to gain some kind of headway.  It didn’t work.  It’s never worked – until now.  And I haven’t had to crawl this time. My intentions were always good.  I went to AA, got a sponsor and worked the 12 steps, but it never felt authentic – any of it.  It never resonated.  And now I know why.  Those 12 steps weren’t mine.  I was following someone else’s path – literally – their 12 steps.  I didn’t know then that I ought to learn to speak the language of my heart and develop a relationship with it.

That looks really cheesy, doesn’t it … DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HEART.  Why is it so corny to talk that way in our society? 

We don’t talk about stuff like that.

I wonder why …

heartpath

My heart has the map to my success in sobriety.  It’s been keeping my path for me all along.  Waiting.

This relationship I’m forming with my heart is replacing NONE – as in alcohol AND drinking (because the act of drinking was part of the problem).

It’s a quiet, strange, a little bittersweet – unfamiliar correspondence I have with my heart. But I trust it.

It’s safe.

gold heart

via Daily Prompt: None